SOCIAL butterfly or wallflower?

How well do you interact with people around you? Think about your communication skills, the relationships you have with others, self-respect and respect for other people, and your support network of family and friends. It’s a balancing act between personally caring for ourselves and caring about our surrounding community and society as a whole. With effective communication our personal and professional relationships may offer the support we need during complicated times.

Whether you are a social butterfly or prefer to let others do the talking, open communication is important to ensure that we not only communicate our thoughts and feelings to others, but to listen attentively and empathetically when others share with us. Social wellness crosses over all aspects of our lives including professional, family and fun. The development of a positive social network helps to increase self-esteem and may build emotional resilience. Social wellness has both short-term and long-term effects. I’m sure many of us can recall the positive effect friends have had on our mental and physical health. And likewise, there those who struggle with social wellness when friends aren’t around or communication and relationships are suffering.

Social wellness can be nurtured in many ways. Here are some ideas that may help this along:

1.     Choose your relationships wisely. Rekindle old friendships. With social media, it’s easy to find those friends we have lost touch with other the years.

2.     Nurture relationships with people who are respectful, positive and supportive.

3.     Be your own unique self. Try not to conform to others to fit in. Find your own people!

4.     Go to the gym, the park, or an exercise studio where you are likely to find others working on physical and mental wellness. Plan to meet them at that location at a set time each week.

5.     Do you have any hobbies? There are lots of community groups who might share your interests. Find them and take the first step by going to a meeting.

6.     Many of us are passionate about a cause. If you have found your passion, try volunteering. If not, take some time to find out what does interest you.

7.     Plan a regularly scheduled time to meet with a friend or group of friends.

8.     Organize a spa day with a group of friends or colleagues

9.     Date nights! Plan time with your significant other or family to just go out and enjoy each other’s company.

10. Become a member of a club or a group (church, special interest, moms morning out, etc.)

11. Join a professional organization. There will be a lot of people interested in the same thing you are there for.

Social wellness takes intention, energy, time, care and effort. It is something that requires our attention throughout our entire life. Put this at the top of your list!

(OPI, 2017)

Fairies and Elves and INTELLECTUAL wellness

What in the world do fairies and elves have to do with our intellect? One of the dimensions of wellness includes our intellectual side. When we hear the word intellectual, we often think of people who are highly intelligent or smart people. As an educator, I could really let the stories rip on what we as educators need to, but I’ll save that for another time. As it relates to wellness, the intellectual dimension refers to our capacity to recognize creativity within ourselves and find ways to enhance our personal knowledge, skills and talents (SAMHSA, 2016).

We know that many children today are struggling academically and the achievement gap is widening. Most of us know that healthy students (and adults) are better prepared to learn. I’m a firm believer that we should be educating our children, parents and adults on the importance of health and wellness. Incorporating health and wellness into schools, including mental health, is a growing need and not one we should ignore.

When thinking about this topic, I was reminded of a professor in literature I had back in undergraduate school. I was a freshman and the first day of class, I walked in to an older, skinny man standing on top of his desk. Yes, literally standing on top of the desk. He didn’t say much as we all piled in. Once class started, he (still standing on his desk) look at us and in a whispery voice asked us if we had ever seen fairies and elves while walking around campus. Specifically, he mentioned that we should spend some time looking for them around trees. In fact, he marveled, we should take the time to hug those trees! I double-checked my schedule to make sure I was in the right class and not creative writing or psychology… 

That was over 30 years ago and I never really stopped to think about his message. I’m sure others took away a different message, but Mr. Gunter, thank you all these years later! What a great way to show us how to be creative and look at things from a different perspective. Perhaps he shared a unique strategy for expanding knowledge and skills. It seemed very far fetched way back then, but hey, after all these years I still remember that day and his unique way of looking at things.

The next time you are walking in the park or hiking in nature, make sure to hug a tree. And maybe, just maybe, you’ll catch those tiny fairies and elves.

CREATE the way to a healthier you

Life is hard, plain and simple. Just when you think you have things under control, someone or something throws a wrench into your life plan and it’s so darn hard to keep up the happy and positive outlook. We know that having an optimistic attitude can help us through those rough patches, but some of us need a little more than relying on our own thoughts to run around our heads.

I heard a woman speak a few years back about her organization, I Still Matter. They “promote recovery through expressive arts, community outreach and education” using peer-support and peer mentoring. I’ve attended some of their support groups and have personally discovered there is something very therapeutic about the freedom to create. Last week we revealed our “hidden” selves by creating masks. Very powerful and a great way to reveal and cope with the emotional side of life. Click here to link to an article about I Still Matter è http://arbus.com/still-matter-still-color/

There are lots of creative outlets that may help you reduce stress. You don’t have to be the next Picasso. Just spend some time pursuing any type of creative activity and see where it takes you. Find something that makes you happy and build that into your daily routine. Here are some simple (and by no means complete) suggestions:

1.     Music. Do you sing or play a musical instrument? Perhaps now is the time to pick that guitar back up!

2.     Painting or drawing. There is something calming about drawing or painting. Even for those of us who don’t consider themselves very good artists, drawing (or doodling) can be therapeutic. Grab a new box of crayons or colored pencils and get started! Try “Zentangling” if you haven’t tried it. Very relaxing!

3.     Gardening. This is creative because you are creating a landscape, a visually appealing area. Working in the garden day after day and watching the plants grow is very calming. What will you grow, flowers or veggies?

4.     Knitting or sewing. If you didn’t learn how to knit when you were young (like I did), there are many “how to” books out there. Don’t let that stop you!

5.     Writing. Pick up a pen and just write. Write a children’s book, a memoir, reflect on your day, journal or start your own blog.

Other ideas might include baking, sculpturing, coloring, scrapbooking or woodworking. There are many more ideas that come to mind. Think outside the box  and let the creative juices flow!

WALK away the tension of the day

Physical health is so important to us all and if you’re like me, you have probably at some point in your life taken it for granted. Yes, there will come a day when your joints and bones just don’t work like they used to, metabolism slows down and you just feel old. Dwell on that for a while or get moving to a happy and healthier you.

If your body isn’t up to running or doing high intensity work outs, start off slow, literally. Ever heard of taking a stroll in the park? It does wonders for improving both physical stamina and mental health. After my hip replacement and with the encouragement of friends, I started walking purposefully every day. My initial attempt at walking for physical health looked and sounded like huffing and puffing after walking less than a quarter of a mile. I started in my neighborhood but there were too many distractions and the proximity of my house made it too easy to cut my walks short. I thought I might try and use the gym membership that I’ve had for years and rarely use. When I asked a trainer about walking on the treadmill, he flat out asked me why in the world I would walk on a treadmill when I have the beautiful outdoors at my fingertips? Thanks to him, I now see the value of not only walking, but the benefits of walking surrounded by nature.

“The path is a visual reminder of the     curves, twists and turns that life                         throws at us”

I stumbled upon a beautiful walking path at a nearby park, which has since become my place to walk off the stress of the day (or if it’s in the morning, to kick start my day). I initially armed myself with music and earphones to help with motivation. It seemed to work out, but carrying that iPhone made it too easy to check emails, answer phone calls and scroll through Facebook. Don’t get me wrong, I am pretty good at multitasking, but when it comes to my health, should I really be multitasking?

A friend posts regularly on Facebook about being present and purposeful. I have other friends who talk about mindfulness. Focused, attentive, fixated, and alert. How could I possibly be these things (which I had decided I was going to be) when I was walking a nature trail wearing ear buds, listening to a music playlist while simultaneously answering work emails and responding to situations over the phone?

Put your cell phones down, people! We have been given the gift of many different senses so let’s use them in our natural environment! I now listen for the birds and notice their different calls back and forth. The trees and colors are absolutely amazing to look at. The path is a visual reminder of the curves, twists and turns that life throws at us. Pay attention to those things. Use the senses that are unique to you. They matter. The squirrels run up to the path in hopes that they will get peanuts, and the smell of fresh air is inviting to say the least. Thirty minutes a day, minimum. 30 minutes out of a 24-hour day for you and nature to meet. Can’t beat that!

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The world of WORK

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It’s the beginning of the week. Let’s talk about work – careers, jobs, employment, occupations, positions within a company – a means of earning income (although I would throw volunteering and being a stay-at-home parent in the same category). Work is a tough one for me. I am a self-proclaimed workaholic.

For many, working defines who you are. When we meet people for the first time, we often start our conversations with what we do for a living. It fills the awkward silence and is an easy place to start. I attended a mental health first aid training this past weekend and chuckled to myself as each of us went around and introduced ourselves… most of us began our introductions with what we do for a living, followed by why we were all there and then a few mentions of other familial roles like being a mom. Why does work seem to be the center of our world?

Well for one, it’s a source of income that pays rent or mortgage, and other bills. Most families with children need two incomes these days just to survive. Shout out to all the single parents out there – you are amazing! Work can also be a social outlet for some and why shouldn’t it be…we spend so much time working! With all that time working, comes a level of stress that may interfere with other aspects of life. I’ve been there, done that, and am constantly reminded of the importance of keeping myself in check.

I am on faculty at a local university and prepare my college students to be teachers. Teachers today are under a tremendous amount of pressure and the expectations placed upon their shoulders are enormous. Trust me when I say that we in higher education are feeling it too. It’s easy to get caught up in the “I have so much work to do that I am going to work into the evening to get ahead” mentality. Newsflash – you never get caught up! There is always something else, or another email, or someone wants you to do something else that so-and-so didn’t do right the first time. When you are a workaholic and a people-pleaser like me, this is dangerous and can have a negative impact on your health.

So how do we take care of ourselves AND be successful at our careers? Here are some ideas that I’ve picked up along the way. I’m a work in progress, and would like to think that I do these all the time. I don’t, but I do try:

Tips for Success

1.     Set Goals. What do you want to accomplish in your job? Think long-term and short-term. Revisit your goals often and ask yourself if you are making progress (or not). Revise them when necessary. Make sure your goals are realistic. This is hard for those of us who want to change the world, but necessary in order to keep a balanced life. Goals will give you something to look forward to, and will help you work deliberately and productively, rather than incidentally or reactively (it’s not good to feel like you are constantly putting out fires!)

2.     Enhance Your Learning. Professional development is trendy right now. Information is literally at our fingertips (be careful of wandering into the Internet only to get deeper and deeper into a sea of information that distracts you from your original intention!) I personally enjoy reading and attending workshops. Pick up a book that will inspire you to become a better employee, coworker or leader. Set an example for others. Strive for enhancing your character and motivating others who may need your help. One of the reasons I am pursuing my licensure in mental health counseling is because I think it will enhance my career as a professor, and hopefully the things I am learning will trickle down to others.

3.     Reflection. If you haven’t tried keeping a reflection journal of some sorts, this is a great way to become self-aware of your progress toward work and other life goals. It becomes a record or log of successful (and perhaps not so successful) outcomes. Use it to address your frustrations as well as your hopes and dreams related to your job.

4.     Exercise and nutrition. Yes. Exercise at work! Your body needs to move to achieve peak performance. Remember, physical activity increases brain function and energy levels, as well as helps people handle stress more effectively. Healthy eating habits are important to keep your energy levels high and to maintain a positive mood. I recently had a colleague at work tell me that every time she got up to use the restroom, she would take that opportunity to walk around the building. If you have the flexibility, try planning to walk at a certain time each day – make it a habit.

5.     Positivity. This one is my favorite and one that I make every effort to keep in the forefront. Not only will remaining positive (even in the face of stress or negativity by others) help you, it will set an example for others around you. Be very mindful of this. When you speak to co-workers or leaders in your organization, be proactive rather than reactive. Stay away from gossip and strive to be that person who is known by others as the one who sees the glass as half full. It sounds cliché but this has always helped me in my career.

If one advances confidently in the direction of his dreams and endeavors to live the life which he has imagined, he will meet with a success unexpected in common hours.

- by Henry David Thoreau

Journey to a HEALTHY life

A colleague posted on Facebook back in December 2016 that she was contemplating her "word of the year". It struck me as something I should to do too. After all, I needed to add something to my already overflowing and fragile plate! It stuck with me for several weeks. There was that nagging awareness of trying to work on my own personal mental health and this might just be something I could wrap my head around. HEALTHY. That was my word. I had turned 50 years old in May of 2016 and was already seeing the dreaded signs of not feeling so young anymore. Hip replacement, being a grandparent, no longer able to party into the night without needing at least three days to recover, kids in college, weight gain and that ever frustrating slowing of the metabolism. HEALTHY was a great word. It would be my focus.

Adding a Fitbit to my wrist (thanks to a gift from my daughter) has been a great reminder to get out there and walk, be a part of nature and take time to think about living life to its fullest. I was, after all, 50 years old now and while that is supposedly the new 30.... I wasn't "feeling" it. I realized that walking and exercise alone (that's what it means to be HEALTHY, right?) wasn't cutting it. I needed more - in ALL aspects of my life. I had become so focused on work (which I love, but there are other things in life besides work) that the rest of me was slowly losing the race. 

Early in January, I re-read the book by Gretchen Rubin, The Happiness Project (2009). Fabulous book with lots of inspirational ideas for a happier life. While "happy" wasn't my focus word, you do need to be happy in order to be fully HEALTHY. I remember the first time I read her book, I was intrigued with the idea of starting a blog. I didn't follow through the first time, but that is all about to change. Welcome to my new blog! I hope you will find some ideas along the way to help YOU in your pursuit of health and wellness. This blog is a place where I will share my own (or guest bloggers) ideas and resources for living a HEALTHY life. Dr. Bill Hettler, co-founder of the National Wellness Institute (NWI) developed a model of Six Dimensions of Wellness (1976). I love this model because it is a reminder that all areas of our life (work, physical health, social, intellectual, spiritual and emotional) are important and they are all intertwined. Future posts will always center around one or more of the six dimensions. Guest bloggers and ideas for future posts are welcome! Please feel free to email me at brimmingcup@gmail.com with thoughts, ideas and comments!

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